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How to cope with anxiety and how to overcome it?
Anxiety can be a debilitating condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It can manifest in various forms, such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and more. Regardless of the type, anxiety can make daily life a constant struggle, causing feelings of fear, worry, and unease. But, there is hope! With the right strategies and techniques, it is possible to cope with anxiety and even overcome it. In this blog post, we will discuss some effective ways to manage anxiety and improve your overall well-being.
Understand Your Anxiety
One of the first steps in coping with anxiety is to understand what triggers it. Every person's experience with anxiety is unique, and what causes anxiety for one person may not affect another. Common triggers include stress, traumatic experiences, and certain life changes. By identifying what causes your anxiety, you can develop strategies to minimize or avoid these triggers.
Practice Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can be incredibly helpful in reducing anxiety. These techniques help to slow down your breathing and heart rate, which can lead to a sense of calm and relaxation. They also help to shift your focus away from anxious thoughts and emotions.
Exercise Regularly
Exercise is a natural anxiety-reducer and has been shown to be just as effective as medication in some cases. Regular physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood-boosters, and can help to reduce feelings of anxiety. Exercise also helps to reduce stress and tension, which can be major triggers for anxiety.
Get Enough Sleep
A lack of sleep can make anxiety worse, so it's essential to make sure you're getting enough rest. Aim for at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night, and try to establish a regular sleep schedule.
Talk to Someone
Anxiety can feel overwhelming, and it can be incredibly helpful to talk to someone about it. Whether it's a friend, family member, therapist, or counselor, talking to someone can provide a sense of support and understanding. It can also help to process and make sense of your thoughts and feelings.
Try therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that can be particularly effective for anxiety. It helps people to identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to anxiety. With the help of a therapist, you can learn new ways of thinking and behaving that can reduce anxiety.
Medication
In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage anxiety. Antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications can be very effective in reducing symptoms, but it's important to work with a healthcare professional to find the right medication and dosage for you.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment. It can be incredibly helpful in reducing anxiety because it helps to shift the focus away from anxious thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness can be practiced through meditation, yoga, and other forms of relaxation.
Avoid caffeine and alcohol
Caffeine and alcohol can both make anxiety worse, so it's best to avoid them or at least limit your intake. Caffeine can increase feelings of nervousness and jitteriness, while alcohol can disrupt sleep and make anxiety worse.
Be kind to yourself
Anxiety can be incredibly hard to cope with, and it's important to remember that you're not alone. Be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up for feeling anxious. Remember that everyone experiences anxiety at some point in their lives and that it's a normal part of being.
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Trauma Counselling & Debriefing
(+27) 73 940 9265
info@juriefick.co.za
Trauma Counselling & Debriefing
Resilience
Trauma is defined as a unique individual experience triggered by a sudden, external overwhelming event or of persistent overwhelming conditions in which one’s ability to cope is compromised, as one experiences a real or perceived threat to his/her life, bodily integrity, or that of a significant other (Saakvitne, K. et al, 2000).
Trauma impacts internal and external psychological functioning, and therefore requires treatment which addresses internal processes, as well as structured and problem-oriented intervention.
What is PTSD?
PTSD is a debilitating Anxiety Disorder triggered by exposure to a traumatic event or experience which is regarded as unnatural, overwhelming, and beyond one’s control.
A traumatic event could be an interpersonal event such as physical, emotional or sexual assault, rape, exposure to disaster or accidents, natural catastrophes, serious injury, terrorism, combat or witnessing a traumatic event.
The diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is made by a trained Clinical Psychologist or a Psychiatrist in the mental health field. Our psychologists are more concerned at addressing and focusing on significant impairment and how distressed you or a significant other feels after the traumatic event experienced.
Symptoms
Symptoms listed below may be experienced after some delay as symptoms do not usually develop directly after the traumatic event.
Symptoms of PTSD fall into three main categories:
1. “Reliving” the traumatic event which disrupts day-to-day activity:
Flashback episodes, where the event is relived
Repeated disturbing memories or images of the traumatic event
Repeated nightmares of the event
Strong, distressing reactions to situations that remind you of the traumatic event
2. Avoidance
Avoiding places, people, or thoughts that remind you of the event
A lack of interest in normal activities
Emotional “numbing,” or feeling as though you do not care about anything
Feeling detached
Being unable to remember important aspects of the trauma
Feeling like you have no future
3. Hyper-Arousal
Difficulty concentrating
Easily and exaggerated startled response
Hyper-vigilance (feeling more aware)
Irritable or outbursts of anger, tearfulness
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Guilt about the event (including “survivor guilt”)
Psycho-somatic complaints:
Agitation or excitability
Dizziness
Fainting
Feeling your heart beat in your chest
Headaches
Sweatiness
Treatment:
One can increase the chances of a good psychological outcome with an
Early diagnosis
Early intervention
Strong social support system
Early treatment and a good support system can help prevent PTSD from developing after a trauma. Should PTSD occur, confronting the original trauma through various forms of treatment “” may be used. E.g.
Transformation Coaching, Trauma debriefing, Trauma Counselling, Talk Therapy or Psychotherapy, EMDR (Eye movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy are a few techniques used.
Therapeutic Treatment assists in:
Reducing symptoms by encouraging one to remember and relive the traumatic event in a safe therapeutic space and express feelings about it
Over time, memories of the event should become less frightening and reprocessed
Assist in finding effective coping skills to deal with the trauma
Assist in confronting the trauma therapeutically instead of traumatically
Support groups, where people who have had similar experiences share their feelings, may also be helpful
People with PTSD may also have problems with Alcohol or other substance abuse, Depression or Related medical conditions. Medicines that act on the nervous system can help reduce anxiety and other symptoms of PTSD.
Trauma Counselling for children and adolescents:
Trauma
Trauma is an extraordinary experience in which dangerous and potent stimuli overwhelm the child’s capacity to regulate emotions. – Early Trauma Treatment Network
The subjective experience of trauma or danger depends on the child’s developmental age and stage.
Traumatic events can be in the form of physical or sexual assaults, natural disasters, traumatic death of a loved one, or emotional abuse or neglect. The child could be a witness to the traumatic event or have been told about it.
Severe emotional trauma has widespread effects on children’s development. These include affecting children’s sense of security in a reasonable and safe world in which they can grow and explore, as well as causing a child to not believe that their parents can protect them from harm.
Traumatized children and teenagers become preoccupied with danger and vulnerability, sometimes leading to misperceptions of danger, even in situations that are not threatening. Many researchers note that, once posttraumatic stress symptoms emerge, PTSD leads to neurophysiological correlates that impact brain function in developing children and adolescents.
What to look out for – Symptoms in children:
The initial response to the trauma, which involves the experience of horror, helplessness, fear or disorganised behaviour in children. Symptoms of re-experiencing the trauma, avoidance, and persistent arousal last more than one month and the disturbance causes clinically significant distress in social, school, or family settings.
Intrusive recollections
Repetitive play of themes or aspects of the traumatic event
Play re-enactment
Recurrent distressing dreams (the dreams are frightening but may not have recognizable content)
Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event is recurring
Flashback episodes
Intense psychological distress upon exposure to cues that symbolise an aspect of the traumatic event
Physiological reaction upon exposure to cues that symbolise an aspect of the traumatic event
Numbing and withdrawal
Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma
Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma
Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma
Markedly lowered interest or participation in significant activities
Feeling of detachment or estrangement from others
Restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)
Sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or normal lifespan)
Constriction of play
Relative social withdrawal
Loss of acquired developmental skills (including regression and loss of skills such as toilet training)
Persistent symptoms of increased arousal
Sleep difficulties (getting and staying asleep, not related to fears of the dark, night terrors, night waking)
Irritability or outbursts of anger
Difficulty concentrating
Hyper-vigilance
Exaggerated startle response
New separation anxiety
New fears (e.g. Fear of using the bathroom alone; Fear of the dark; New fears of things or situations not directly related to the trauma)
.
In teenagers, symptoms may include:
Invasive images
Restlessness, aggression, hostility
Sleep difficulties
Concentration difficulties
Loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities
Social and family withdrawal
Changes in life attitudes
Numbing
Sadness
Detachment
Self-injury
Substance Abuse
Eating Disorders
Sexual Acting Out
Personality Change
Treatment for children:
The Play Therapy Room provides a safe space for children to express distressing feelings and thoughts through symbolic play and drawing. Short-term treatment (approximately 6 sessions) is used to assist children in understanding the traumatic incident(s), making meaning, identifying distressing feelings and thoughts triggered by the trauma.
Once a symptom-evaluation and a Parental Guidance session has been completed, the child may need to continue with the Play Therapy process to address possible underlying distress.
Various techniques are used to work therapeutically with a child:
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing
Play Therapy
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Contact Us
Tel: (+27) 73 940 9265
Cell Phone: 0739409265
Email:
info@juriefick.co.za
Location
Physical Address:
3 Mayville Way, Longwood Estate, Durbanville, Cape Town, South Africa
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How to deal with Anxiety?
Anxiety is an uncomfortable condition of inner turmoil that is typically accompanied by tense behaviour such as pacing back and forth, physical symptoms, and rumination. It comprises negative subjective sensations of dread about upcoming events.
Anxiety is a widespread and unfocused feeling of uneasiness and anxiety caused by an overreaction to a circumstance that is only subjectively seen as dangerous. Muscle tension, restlessness, weariness, inability to catch one's breath, abdominal tightness, and attention issues are all common symptoms. With particular clinical definitions, it's a disorder.
Anxiety disorders are distinguished from everyday anxiety by the fact that they are persistent, often lasting 6 months or more. However, the duration criterion is intended as a guideline with some flexibility, and anxiety disorders in children might be of shorter duration.
Why does it happen?
Like most mental illnesses, it is not exactly known why anxiety happens. But more often than not, it is brought upon by environmental stress and a lack of certain chemicals in the brain. Change also is a big indicator of anxiety. Research shows that those affected with anxiety experience a lot of changes in their brain structure, especially with hormones that control emotions.
Sometimes, life experiences, especially the traumatic ones, may also be the reason why the person is experiencing anxiety problems. Moreover, if the parent of a person also suffered from anxiety before, he’s more likely to develop the problem, too.
2 Easy Steps To Cope With Anxiety And Stress.
This questionnaire can assist you to find out if you
might suffer from an anxiety disorder by calculating your
symptoms and based on your answer, suggest if you
suffer from mild to severe anxiety.
I Inspire People To Change
If you want to change the way you think, you will need to dedicate time and effort to the process. If you do, you will transform your life to become the Best Version of yourself.
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8 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to gain power. And it works too well.
The term "gaslighting" comes from the movie "Gaslight," in which a man manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her mind. Gaslighting is a slow form of brainwashing that makes a victim question their reality. Typical gaslighting techniques include denying something when there's proof, projecting onto others, and telling blatant lies.
Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn't realize how much they've been brainwashed. For example, in the movie Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind.
How to Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People — and how gaslighters typically use the following techniques:
They tell blatant lies.
You know it's an outright lie. Yet they are telling you this lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they're setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a huge lie, you're not sure if anything they say is true. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal.
They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof.
You know they said they would do something; you know you heard it. But they out and out deny it. It makes you start questioning your reality—maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs.
They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.
They know how important your kids are to you, and they know how important your identity is to you. So those may be one of the first things they attack. If you have kids, they tell you that you should not have had those children. They will tell you'd be a worthy person if only you didn't have a long list of negative traits. They attack the foundation of your being.
They wear you down over time.
This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting—it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often...and then it starts ramping up. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting—it is that effective. It's the "frog in the frying pan" analogy: The heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what's happening to it.
Their actions do not match their words.
When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing; it is just talking. What they are doing is the issue.
They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you.
This person or entity that is cutting you down, telling you that you don't have value, is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think, "Well maybe they aren't so bad." Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter—and again, to question your reality. Also, look at what you were praised for; it is probably something that served the gaslighter.
They know confusion weakens people.
Gaslighters know that people like having a sense of stability and normalcy. Their goal is to uproot this and make you constantly question everything. And humans' natural tendency is to look to the person or entity that will help you feel more stable—and that happens to be the gaslighter.
They project.
They are a drug user or a cheater, yet they are constantly accusing you of that. This is done so often that you start trying to defend yourself, and are distracted from the gaslighter's own behaviour.
They try to align people against you.
Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding the people they know will stand by them no matter what—and they use these people against you. They will make comments such as, "This person knows that you're not right," or "This person knows you're useless too." Keep in mind it does not mean that these people actually said these things. A gaslighter is a constant liar. When the gaslighter uses this tactic it makes you feel like you don't know whom to trust or turn to—and that leads you right back to the gaslighter. And that's exactly what they want: Isolation gives them more control.
They tell you or others that you are crazy.
This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter because it's dismissive. The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out of control. It's a master technique.
They tell you everyone else is a liar.
By telling you that everyone else (your family, the media) is a liar, it again makes you question your reality. You've never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be telling the truth, right? No. It's a manipulation technique. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the "correct" information—which isn't correct information at all.
The more you are aware of these techniques, the quicker you can identify them and avoid falling into the gaslighter's trap.
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www.juriefick.com
Contact Us
Tel: (+27) 73 940 9265
Cell Phone: 0739409265
Email:
info@juriefick.co.za
Location
Physical Address:
3 Mayville Way, Longwood Estate, Durbanville, Cape Town, South Africa
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9 Things To Do Every Sunday For An Amazing Week.
Sundays are wonderful for catching up with work that has been left untouched, unwinding and binge-watching Netflix.
But above all, it’s a great day for planning and making sure the next week will be your best week.
Here are some of the things I do every Sunday and how, by doing so, I avoid the Monday blues, feeling overwhelmed or anxious about the week ahead.
1- Shift Your Mindset
Sundays don't need to be what they are most commonly known for a lazy day for hangovers and meaningless binge-watching (and eating).
My first tip for you is to think of Sundays as the first day of the week. It really takes the edge and pressure off of Mondays.
You can get a head start on your work for the week by prepping on Sundays. Prep, prep, and prep. Prepping is key.
Do what you can on Sunday and the rest of the week will be less stressful.
Congratulations! In one week, you will have an additional 24 hours.
Do your best.
2- Meal Prep For The Week Ahead (Saving Money)
Plan your meals for the week.
I do my weekly shopping on a Sunday and this saves me lots of time during the week for going to buy daily. Saving time and money.
It is also a great way to do healthier choices and cutting out the quick takeaway drive-thru. I tend to buy healthier snacks for the week.
3- Plan Your Week Ahead
Good day to catch up on your planner and getting your to-do list in order.
I always put my plan to paper first then over to the relevant apps or calendar.
What helps me a lot is to plan down to the hour, step by step. I don't just write down bullets but put down in detail what needs to be done to complete that task.
4- Prioritize Your To-Do List
Make sure to prioritize your to-do list from urgency and importance. I use a tick method to ensure the task is complete before moving on to the next task.
5- Aim For Zero Inbox
Don't you just hate a full inbox? Since working from home, it is now a habit to clear my email inbox and reply, filter rout spam and archive emails to different folders.
*** While you at it clear and clean your desktop and workstation.
6- Set Goals
Reflect on the past week and make sure that it is in alignment with your dreams and goals in life. We should move forward in life every day, one step at a time towards our Big Goal/Dream.
TIP for today-
Reflect and ASK???
Where are you now?
Where do you want to be?
What can you incorporate this week to get even closer to the goal or dream?
Create a Mind Map and put it up to look at it every day to see where you are in relation to your Ultimate Goal and Dream.
5 Year, 3 Year, 1 Year, 6 Month, 30 Day's, 7 Day's and 1 Week.
Take Small Actionable Steps Daily...
7- Practice Self Care
It is important for me to set aside time for self-care.
Examples of self-care:
Meditation, Reading, Long walks, Going out with my wife for dinner or to explore nature and walking bare feet in the forest or on the beach.
8- Clean Your Space
Who likes to start their week in a messy space, home or office?
Spend some time, preferably early then it is done, to vacuum and clean the home. Who doesn't like the feeling of fresh clean sheets on the bed and the smell of freshness?
9- Unwind And Relax
Take some time just to unwind and unplug.
I like to do my prepping and getting a head start for the week at the end of Sunday as I start to work on my Intention settings for the next day.
One More Thing Before You Go.....
If you’d like to learn more about how you can change your current habits and routines to better support your dream life, so you can wake up feeling motivated, avoid procrastination and start living your best life…
I highly encourage you to go to my blog and read some of my articles which can give you some tips on how to transform your life to become the Best Version of yourself.
To find out more, please click on the link below and I will contact you to set up an online session.
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How I Set Intention For My Day
SET MOMENT BY MOMENT INTENTION DURING YOUR DAY
And Start steering your life Consciously.
I get this Question ALLOT:
Do you set daily intentions? And How Can I get into it and how do I make it work for ME?
First: What Is Daily Intention Setting?
It Is Seeing A Clear MENTAL PICTURE and a CLEAR OUTCOME
Of the Day You CHOOSE to have and FEELING it As if it has ALREADY Happened.
During your Day make a point to STOP and set Deliberate Intentions
For what you are going to do or are busy doing.
Example Going to the Shops/ Driving Safe/ Green Robots/ No Trafic/Open Parking
Then Monitor your Emotions. Triggers will indicate if you are in Alignment with it.
You MUST Be Positive Or Neutral.
If you have any Negative Feelings, then you are thinking about What You Do Not Want
Or the Lack of it, called Wanting-ness=LACK.
And as we talked about the Law of Vibration
That which you focus on You will get More Of Creating More Lack
Think ONLY Thoughts Of What You Choose To have. And Start steering your life Consciously to the Life you CHOOSE TO HAVE.
It’s Important to Understand that intentions are different things for different people.
All people set intentions to stay Focused on their day-to-day lives.
I'd like to share with you some ways that you too can start living a conscious life.
Ask yourself what you want. ...(Life, Job, Relationship, Success, Financial, etc..)
Do what makes you happy. ...(What makes you Truly Happy?)
Live in alignment with your truth. ...(What must you work on Internally?)
Accept yourself for who you are. ...(Take a look in the Mirror...Say You Are Beautifull)
Do work that's in tune with your being..(Work and do all things to get there, Cut Distractions)
Ignore society's guidance and demands. ...(You are Enough and Believe In yourself)
Spend wisely. ...(Have a clear Goal, Finance, Finacial Freedom...
Walk with courage....(Self Confidence)
If you are struggling to get started on setting your intentions, The Chrysalis Code has a
Uniques System that can help you get inspired and help you find your Best Version.
Thank you: Stay Safe And Share The Love
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How Mindsets Are Formed?
How are Fixed Mindset Created in the first place?
Before we want to change your Mindset, it’s helpful to understand how it's formed.
The Question I want to ask you? What is the MIND and Where do we find it?
When we were conceived we received this Body and with this Body came a Brain.
The Mind is STORED in the Brain and the Brain is just an Organ.
Because you have a Mind, you have the Capacity to Think and bring forth
Thoughts and Ideas.
The mind, therefore, is a thinking device.
The Mind is a hard thing to describe. The Mind is pure ENERGY, you can not see it or measure it.
Yet it forms and resides in the Brain.
From the Thoughts and Ideas that the mind brings forth, it forms them into Concepts and Ideas.
From the Concepts, the mind then develops them into Beliefs.
From these Beliefs, the Mindsets are Formed.
Because Mindsets are Beliefs,
Mindsets CAN be Changed; they're NOT SET in Stone. It’s only people who set them in stone.
How people react to these new Ideas and Thoughts depends on whether they have a Growth
Or Fixed mind and how they are guided internally (Emotions) and externally (Triggers/Beliefs)
There are 8 things you can do if new IDEAS and THOUGHTS come along.
1- You can consider them (Growth Mindset)
2- Ignore them (Fixed Mindset)
3- Dismiss them (Fixed Mindset)
4- Accept them. (Growth Mindset)
5- You can Destroy Them (Fixed Mindset)
6- Eliminate them (Fixed Mindset)
7- Embrace them (Growth Mindset)
8- Ignore the messenger of the Ideas and Thoughts (Fixed Mindset)
My question to YOU, do you control your Mind or does your Mind control you?
And does the mind belong to you or is the mind just on loan whilst you exist?
Whilst you are alive, the mind belongs to you, therefore you have the responsibility to look after it, nurture it and develop it.
Because the mind is a thinking device (Conscious Mind), you have the capacity to control your mind, do good and think positive and make plans and set Goals.
If you aren’t aware of the mind ( When you have to do Day to day things) then it controls you (Subconscious Mind).
Tomorrow we will Discuss the Conscious and the Subconscious Mind.
Thank you for joining me today in How Mindsets Are Formed.
Stay safe, stay strong, stay healthy.
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Why Would I Want Growth Mindset?
In a Growth mindset, you believe you can develop any new ability or skill
That Means You BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF
Because of this belief, you have a desire to learn. This enables you to embrace challenges and persevere when setbacks arise, during the learning process.
When we go through our Transformation Coaching System and we Empower you with NEW EMPOWERING BELIEFS it gives you the following
Self-confidence, Unlocking More of your Full Potential, Being in control of your Emotions To make Better Decision, Understanding your Emotions, The Ability to Set and Reach Goals and so so so much more...
We have a MOTO during our Training Sessions and Sir Winston Churchill Said the following...Churchill said this NEVER GIVE UP And NEVER GIVE IN...DANIELLE THANK YOU
When You BELIEVE in Yourself it will lead you into an upward spiral of continuing developing, reaching ever-higher levels of personal mastery and achievement and becoming the Ultimate Version of you.
If you are struggling to cope and you feel overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, uncertainty, please feel free to contact us for a free online coaching session.
We are here for you.
Visit us here http://www.juriefick.com for more information on Jurie FickTransformation Coaching
Stay safe, stay strong, stay healthy.
Website
http://www.juriefick.com
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Can you forgive yourself?
They say unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
Well, unforgiveness towards yourself is drinking poison hoping it kills YOU.
Maybe you know what I’m talking about?
Maybe you’ve done something at some point and you’re still carrying the shame with you, doing your best to move forward, but never quite being able to outrun your past. So you just learn to live with a simmering self-hatred, and you soothe it by drinking, or working, or judging others, or eating, or doing good deeds, or positive thinking, anything to feel like a better human being.
I feel you. I really do. I’ve walked my own path of self-forgiveness and I’ll be honest with you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
You can be free
If you are suffering from something you did in the past, I’m here to tell you that you have another option. You don’t have to live another day weighed down by guilt. You can be free, and let me tell you, my friend, it’s easier than you think to let it go.
Accept what is true
As with anything we need to forgive, it starts with accepting what is true. Making excuses, blaming someone else, trying to justify what we’ve done only keeps us entangled with it. You can’t let something go that you don’t fully own. The first step, take full responsibility. No matter what was happening in your life, or who provoked you, you made a choice and whatever that was is causing you pain. Don’t kid yourself by believing anyone or anything else is responsible. It will only keep you stuck.
Accepting what I’ve done
One of the biggest challenges for me was in accepting that I had done what I did. I didn’t want to think of myself as someone who was capable of that. I would say things like, “I just wasn’t myself,” and “I can’t believe I would do that, I should have known better.” Once I stopped resisting the reality that I actually was someone who would do that, because I did, I was able to get to the real work of letting it go.
Compassion for yourself
But in order to fully accept it, you must have compassion for yourself. Taking responsibility while having compassion looks like understanding that you made the best choice you could at that time, with what you had at that moment. Every action is either an act of love or a cry for love. You are human. You are imperfect and you made a choice. You would take it back if you could only because you now know that it had painful consequences.
I’ll bet my life you’ve also made some pretty good choices that have had positive outcomes
You can’t change the past
Next, we recognize that there is not a single thing we can do to change the past. It is an absolute waste of your energy and brain space to live in the past. The past only exists in your mind. What’s done is done, and the only outcome of living in the past is to keep reliving the pain. That doesn’t help anyone, especially you.
Forgive yourself
Forgiving yourself is mission-critical because, without it, you can’t have a healthy relationship with yourself. You’ll subconsciously punish yourself and not allow love in. You won’t reach your full potential because, in order to hold unforgiveness toward yourself, you have to detach from parts of yourself. Your life will be a constant effort of trying to prove to yourself that you’re not a bad person, or worse, you will just believe you are a bad person and continue to live a broken life.
If you relate to this, yet letting go of guilt feels impossible, stay with me. Next week I’ll talk about some of the steps you can take to begin to experience freedom. No matter who you are, or what you’ve done, it’s available to you.
Jurie Fick is a Master Certified Transformation Life Coach and the owner of Jurie Fick Transformation Coaching.
Stay safe, stay strong, stay healthy.
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Mindfulness
5 mental shifts that will instantly enhance your life
With everything going on these days — an economic fallout, election looms and a global pandemic — protecting your mental health is one of the most important things you can do.
How people respond to adversity is something I’ve studied and observed as a transformation life coach. And lately, friends and family members have been asking about how they can cope with today’s emotional challenges.
My simple advice is always the same: Get rid of the bad habits holding you back. Here are some positive mental shifts that can instantly enhance your life:
Adopt a ‘can do’ mindset.
I started doing meditation 3 years ago, and I’m grateful for how much it has helped improve not just my physical health, but also how I approach obstacles.
Whenever I encourage people to try meditation or new exercises routine, they’ll often tell me, “I’ve always wanted to, but I can’t because I’m not fit at all!” This mindset holds us back in so many ways because we’re essentially thinking: I’m not [X] enough, so I can’t do [Y].
Achieving goals is all about making adjustments in life, the same way we adjust different parts of our body during yoga. When you take a moment to look at things with a “can do” mindset, you’ll achieve things that you previously thought were impossible.
Embrace the uncomfortable things.
A mentor once said something that changed the trajectory of my life: “You can fake comfort, or you can change. But you can’t do both.”
That really stuck with me.
When things got bad, I used to do everything in my power to avoid talking about my feelings. But I soon learned that you can only run from them for so long; eventually, you’ll have to face reality.
On March 16, I went home from work as part of quarantine orders. I remember feeling very scared and worried about what was to come next. But forcing myself to sit quietly with my thoughts — even though my mind was racing with fear — helped me regulate my emotions.
Little by little, I felt more connected and more able to navigate through the discomfort of uncertainty.
Develop a desire to help others.
Socrates said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Little acts of kindness have a ripple effect, and those ripples can create a wave of positive change in the world that might just save us all.
Avoid social disconnectedness.
There’s an African proverb that goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together.”
Even when I go weeks without seeing friends and family, I’ll reach for the phone and call someone to check in on how they are doing.
This pandemic feels like a journey with no end in sight. The way we work and relate to each other has changed significantly. People are feeling more isolated than ever. But I believe that the path to a more fulfilling life is through connection and community.
Be present.
Being mindful and present helps us get through turbulent times and come out stronger, with a clearer sense of meaning and purpose.
So many of us tend to go through our days on autopilot, which is essentially the opposite of mindfulness. We may also fall into the trap of “distractions,” like buying a ton of things we don’t need or binge-watching Netflix for days. While these actions can provide instant gratification, they are often very dangerous.
Mindfulness requires constant awareness and attention to the things happening around us. Time is a precious commodity. Don’t mentally rush through it or wish it away. Savour the moments, even the ugly and unpleasant ones — because they, too, will pass.
9 Things To Do Every Sunday For An Amazing Week
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9 Things To Do Every Sunday For An Amazing Week
Sundays are wonderful for catching up with work that has been left untouched, unwinding and binge-watching Netflix.
But above all, it’s a great day for planning and making sure the next week will be your best week.
Here are some of the things I do every Sunday and how, by doing so, I avoid the Monday blues, feeling overwhelmed or anxious about the week ahead.
1- Shift Your Mindset
Sundays don't need to be what they are most commonly known for a lazy day for hangovers and meaningless binge-watching (and eating).
My first tip for you is to think of Sundays as the first day of the week. It really takes the edge and pressure off of Mondays.
You can get a head start on your work for the week by prepping on Sundays. Prep, prep, and prep. Prepping is key.
Do what you can on Sunday and the rest of the week will be less stressful.
Congratulations! In one week, you will have an additional 24 hours.
Do your best.
2- Meal Prep For The Week Ahead (Saving Money)
Plan your meals for the week.
I do my weekly shopping on a Sunday and this saves me lots of time during the week for going to buy daily. Saving time and money.
It is also a great way to do healthier choices and cutting out the quick takeaway drive-thru. I tend to buy healthier snacks for the week.
3- Plan Your Week Ahead
Good day to catch up on your planner and getting your to-do list in order.
I always put my plan to paper first then over to the relevant apps or calendar.
What helps me a lot is to plan down to the hour, step by step. I don't just write down bullets but put down in detail what needs to be done to complete that task.
4- Prioritize Your To-Do List
Make sure to prioritize your to-do list from urgency and importance. I use a tick method to ensure the task is complete before moving on to the next task.
5- Aim For Zero Inbox
Don't you just hate a full inbox? Since working from home, it is now a habit to clear my email inbox and reply, filter rout spam and archive emails to different folders.
*** While you at it clear and clean your desktop and workstation.
6- Set Goals
Reflect on the past week and make sure that it is in alignment with your dreams and goals in life. We should move forward in life every day, one step at a time towards our Big Goal/Dream.
TIP for today-
Reflect and ASK???
Where are you now?
Where do you want to be?
What can you incorporate this week to get even closer to the goal or dream?
Create a Mind Map and put it up to look at it every day to see where you are in relation to your Ultimate Goal and Dream.
5 Year, 3 Year, 1 Year, 6 Month, 30 Day's, 7 Day's and 1 Week.
Take Small Actionable Steps Daily...
7- Practice Self Care
It is important for me to set aside time for self-care.
Examples of self-care:
Meditation, Reading, Long walks, Going out with my wife for dinner or to explore nature and walking bare feet in the forest or on the beach.
8- Clean Your Space
Who likes to start their week in a messy space, home or office?
Spend some time, preferably early then it is done, to vacuum and clean the home. Who doesn't like the feeling of fresh clean sheets on the bed and the smell of freshness?
9- Unwind And Relax
Take some time just to unwind and unplug.
I like to do my prepping and getting a head start for the week at the end of Sunday as I start to work on my Intention settings for the next day.
One More Thing Before You Go.....
If you’d like to learn more about how you can change your current habits and routines to better support your dream life, so you can wake up feeling motivated, avoid procrastination and start living your best life…
I highly encourage you to go to my blog and read some of my articles which can give you some tips on how to transform your life to become the Best Version of yourself.
To find out more, please click on the link below and I will contact you.
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